


The Stranger At The Door

by flipflop_diva, lattice_frames, Port



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Audio Format: MP3, Avengers Family, During Canon, F/M, Female Friendship, Friendship, Gen, Natasha Feels, Natasha Needs a Hug, POV Laura Barton, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 45-60 Minutes, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:37:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7579705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/pseuds/flipflop_diva, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lattice_frames/pseuds/lattice_frames, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Port/pseuds/Port
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last thing Laura Barton expected to find on that sunny Saturday morning in May after her husband had told her he would be there in an hour was opening the front door to find said husband covered in dirt and blood and holding an unconscious redhead in his arms. </p><p>And so went the first time Laura Barton met Natasha Romanoff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the author (flipflop_diva): This fic has been an adventure! I brainstormed it and struggled through it and finally managed to get it written all with the immense help of [podfic_lover](http://archiveofourown.org/users/podfic_lover), who I owe a huge amount of gratitude, too, because this would have turned out way different — or, more realistically, not at all — without her help. So I hope she knows that!
> 
> I also am so, so, so incredibly grateful to Port and lattice_frames, both of whom stepped up at the total last minute to each do a podfic version so I could still be part of this fest. You two are incredible and I'm so happy with what you both did, and I cannot thank you enough.
> 
> To everyone else, I hope you enjoy!

**Version 1 - Podfic by Port**

[MP3](http://pod-together.parakaproductions.com/2016/The%20Stranger%20at%20the%20Door%20by%20flipflop_diva,%20port.mp3) | 00:53:41 | 49.15 MB

**Version 2 - Podfic by lattice_frames**

[MP3](http://lattice-frames.parakaproductions.com/Podfic/The%20Stranger%20At%20The%20Door.mp3) |00:50:24| 40MB

In the two years they’d been married, and the three years they’d been together before then, Laura had gotten used to a lot of things about Clint’s life — the assortment of arrows all over their living room floor (and sometimes hidden in the couch), the days or weeks or sometimes months they often spent apart (too many of them with her being unable to even call him on a regular basis), the too-frequent-to-be-comfortable calls from Director Fury giving her an update on the latest injury or mishap that had befallen her husband (and all of them things that always sent her heart leaping into her throat) — but the last thing she expected to find on that sunny Saturday morning in May after her husband had told her he would be there in an hour was opening the front door to find said husband covered in dirt and blood and holding an unconscious redhead in his arms.

She didn’t ask questions, at least not at first. Instead, she met his eyes, pecked him on the cheek and then went to work, helping Clint bandage the wound on the young woman’s head and stopping the bleeding on the huge gash to her side and wrapping the very obviously sprained ankle that was already turning blue and purple and then stripping her out of her bloodied uniform (and moving the way-too-many weapons they found tucked within hems and wrapped around limbs far, far away from where the young woman could ever find them) and tucking her in bed in the spare room they had downstairs.

Then she asked questions. A lot of questions.

“Things went bad,” Clint said, avoiding Laura’s eyes as they both stood in the master bathroom, Clint washing the dirt and the blood — mostly the young woman’s, not his — off his hands and his face and his chest. 

“I can see that.”

“I thought it was faster to bring her here.”

“Faster?” Laura quirked a brow at him. Five years together and she knew the truth from embellishments.

“Safer,” Clint amended.

“Than a hospital?”

“For her? Yes. She doesn’t trust anyone.”

Laura sighed. Clint had told her all about his new partner, the young girl he had saved instead of killed, the Russian assassin who’d left a trail of death in her past, who was deadly and efficient and, as far as SHIELD was concerned, ruthless. But Clint had seen something in her, and even though Laura trusted Clint more than anyone in the world, even she couldn’t pretend that the idea of a girl who could kill her without blinking an eye unconscious and injured in her guest room wasn't slightly unsettling.

Clint seemed to sense her hesitation. Slowly he turned off the water, dried his hands, then turned to his wife, placing his hands gently on her shoulders.

“She’s just a kid,” he said, “She never had a chance. I think being here for a few days could help her.”

Laura tried to keep her expression neutral, but Clint smiled at her, in that way that he had that said he knew exactly what she was thinking and he understood but he needed her to trust him, then twirled a piece of her hair around his finger and tucked it behind her ear, and they both knew she wouldn’t argue anymore. 

“You’re sure it’s safe?” she asked.

“She trusts me.” A slight pause. “I promise. I wouldn’t have brought her here if I thought there was even a slight chance …”

Laura leaned up on her toes, pressed her lips to her husband’s before he could continue. 

“Okay,” she said. “I trust you.”

•••

It was Laura who Natasha spotted first when she finally woke up. Clint had gotten off relatively unscathed, apart from a few nasty bruises and one long gash on his arm that should have required stitches if Clint actually got things checked out like one should, but the mission — whatever it was — and getting Natasha away had taken its toll on him in other ways. Laura had sent him off to bed with the promise that she would keep an eye on things and would shout if there were a problem.

She was in the kitchen, mixing flour into the sugar and butter that was eventually going to become cookies, when she became aware of a strange tingling sensation, like the hairs on the back of her neck were standing at attention. Slowly, she placed the spoon in the bowl and turned around as cautiously and as slowly as she could.

Natasha, still wearing one of Clint’s old t-shirts that they had put her in before tucking her in bed, was standing in the doorway to the room, fists clenched by her sides, her eyes narrowed, her whole body taut.

Laura had never been so relieved that all the knives were in the drawer in front of where she was standing and nowhere near Natasha than she was at the moment.

“Natasha,” she said slowly, keeping her voice steady. “Is it okay if I call you that? I’m Laura, Clint’s wife. Everything is okay. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

Natasha’s posture didn’t change; if anything, Laura noticed her hands clenched a little tighter.

“Clint doesn’t have a wife.” Her voice was raspy, like she hadn’t talked in awhile, and Laura could just make out the small hints of a Russian accent.

“He does actually,” Laura said. “But no one at SHIELD knows that except Director Fury and Agent Coulson.”

“I don’t believe you.” Laura watched as Natasha’s eyes darted around the room, taking everything in. Her expression, though, remained almost carefully blank. “Where am I?”

“Clint brought you home with him. You were hurt.”

“I don’t see him.”

“He’s upstairs sleeping.”

“I want to see him.” Natasha’s tone came off as demanding, but Laura caught the slight waver in her voice. She was still standing in the exact same position, looking like she was ready for a fight, but wearing Clint’s shirt, with the wrap on her ankle and the bandage on her head and her long red hair tangled in knots, she looked more like a scared young girl than a deadly killer. Laura felt her heart break just slightly at the sight, and she made her decision.

“I’ll take you to him, but you have to be quiet.”

“Okay.” Her agreement came much easier than Laura expected.

“And you don’t touch anything unless I say you do. I’m not above strip searching you to make sure you’re not hiding a weapon.”

Natasha’s lips turned down just slightly at that, and the flicker in her eyes let Laura know she was considering the situation, probably weighing how long it would take her to knock Laura out and make her escape and how far she could get on a bad ankle. But then she nodded, just slightly.

“Show me,” she said.

Laura nodded, and pointed to Natasha. “The stairs are behind you, so I need to pass you.”

Again Natasha’s eyes flickered over her, once more probably assessing her situation, but then she took a step to the side, leaving Laura plenty of room to pass.

Clint and Laura’s bedroom was up the stairs and at the end of the long hallway. It wasn’t far at all in their relatively modest-sized farmhouse, but Laura figured Natasha’s ankle had to be bothering her, even if she would never show it. Laura walked slower than usual, careful not to turn around and make Natasha more uncomfortable than she probably already was.

When they reached the door to the bedroom, Laura turned and held a finger to her lips before she pushed the door open, even though the sound of Clint’s deep breathing had been heard long before then. But seeing the familiar form under the lump of covers seemed to calm Natasha’s nerves. For the first time since Laura had seen her watching her, she saw Natasha fists unclench just slightly.

Natasha gazed at Laura as Laura shut the door behind them, her eyes a little softer this time. 

“You’re really his wife?” Natasha whispered. She sounded unsure, but Laura could tell she wanted to believe her.

Laura gestured at Natasha to follow her again, and she led the way back down the hallway, stopping just beyond the staircase. On the wall in front of them was a collection of photos, the center photo clearly showing a tuxedo-clad Clint holding hands in front of an altar with Laura, dressed all in white.

Natasha stared at it for a while, her eyes darting to all the other photos in turn. Laura and Clint’s vacations together, their reception, their engagement photo.

“He didn’t tell me,” Natasha finally said. 

“He doesn’t tell anyone,” Laura said. “Just Fury and Coulson. No one else. No partners, no friends, no one.”

“But he brought me here?”

“Yes, he did.”

“But why? Why would he do that?”

“Because he trusts you.”

Laura saw a slight frown pass across Natasha’s face at that, but she reeled it back in almost immediately. Laura wondered, with a pang in her heart, what it must be like to have spent one’s whole life never being able to trust anyone.

“Come on,” Laura said quietly when Natasha didn’t say anything else. “You must be hungry. Let’s go get you something to eat.”

“Okay,” Natasha answered, and Laura saw her take one last long look at the photos on the wall before following Laura down the stairs.

•••

Natasha was far from the best houseguest the Bartons had ever had. She was wary, reserved, defensive, and if Laura was honest, there were moments when the thought of Natasha staying with them was a bit unnerving. It was hard to not think about the fact that she was one of the world’s most deadly assassins and that if she wanted to, she could kill her and disappear without a trace, probably making sure her body would never be found.

But there were other moments — moments that happened more frequently than the former — where Laura thought Natasha was actually more scared of Laura than Laura was of her, and she ached to find common ground with her, to help her feel comfortable.

For the first few days, Natasha kept mostly to herself, holed up in the room they were letting her use, just sitting by the window and staring out at the fields in the distance.

“You can watch TV if you want,” Laura said to her the first full day she was there, when she came to bring her some clothes she thought might fit. Natasha was smaller than her, but she couldn’t very well go around in her torn uniform or Clint’s shirts the whole time. “We have a lot of movies. Or books you can read.”

“It’s okay,” Natasha answered. “I don’t need entertainment.”

“You might not need it, but it’s okay to have it.”

Natasha tilted her head just slightly at that, like it was something she had never considered before, but a moment later, she shook her head again.

“I’m fine,” she said, and turned back to the window.

Laura mostly left her alone after that. Clint would check on her, make sure she was okay, and occasionally persuade her to go outside with him while he tinkered with something or other, but Laura really only saw Natasha at mealtimes, when they all ate together.

Natasha was mostly silent during those times, but she would watch Clint and Laura carefully and she listened intently to everything they said. They told stories of how they met and of their life together, and even though Natasha didn’t actively participate in any of those conversations, Laura could tell she was interested in them. Although Laura often wondered if it was hard for her to hear them.

She asked Clint about it one night. She had known since before she met her that Natasha guarded her past fiercely, and Laura didn’t blame her. Clint had told her the basics — Natasha had been trained by the Russian government since she was a little girl to be an assassin. She was raised in a world where you trusted no one, you relied on no one, you were friends with no one, you cared about no one and, most of all, you loved no one. Every word of truth that left your lips was an opportunity for someone to use it against you later.

But for Laura, it was an awkward line to walk. She wanted to give Natasha her space, but how do you get to know someone if you can’t ask them anything personal?

“Do you think it bothers her?” she said to Clint the fourth night Natasha was there.

“What?” he asked. 

“Us talking about our lives together when hers has never been anything normal.”

Clint seemed to think about that, then he shook his head. “She doesn’t know anything different. To her, we’re the strange ones.”

“You don’t think that’s sad?”

“Sad?” The expression on Clint’s face turned grim. “I think it’s horrifying, what they did to her. And I’m pretty sure what I know doesn’t even skim the surface. But I can’t tell her that. She’s not ready to hear it.”

“I just wish I knew how to talk to her.”

Clint reached over, took Laura’s hand and squeezed it. “You’re doing fine. Natasha will talk when she’s ready.”

She was ready a week later. Laura was in the kitchen again, this time baking brownies. She enjoyed the precision and the details that went into baking, and Clint enjoyed eating the final product. This time, Laura was so invested in her work she didn’t realize Natasha had snuck into the room until she looked up into a pair of green eyes peering back at her.

She was so startled, she actually jumped backward and dropped the spoon, an audible gasp leaving her mouth.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha said quickly, as soon as she saw Laura’s reaction. “I scared you.”

Laura reached down to pick up the spoon. “I can see why you’re a good spy.”

“I’m sorry,” Natasha said again. Laura noticed she backed up a couple of steps. “Coulson told me not to do that anymore. I forget sometimes.”

Despite her normal neutral expression, she looked almost anxious, like maybe she was worried Laura was going to report her.

Laura smiled at her, tried to ease her concerns. “I imagine that must be a hard habit to break.”

Natasha hesitated before she answered, like she wasn’t sure if she should reveal anything. “It is,” she finally said, then she pointed to the bowl Laura had on the counter. “What are you making?”

“Brownies for Clint.”

Natasha frowned. “But ….”

“But what?”

“Clint always gives me his desserts. I didn’t think …” Natasha trailed off, shaking her head. “Can I … watch?”

“You can help, if you want.”

For a second, a surprised look crossed Natasha’s face before it vanished. “Really?” she asked.

“Of course. Come here.”

Natasha was a fast learner. Laura wasn’t really surprised; she suspected picking up new skills quickly and easily was something that came naturally to her. But Natasha looked almost proud when the brownies came out of the oven, looking exactly like they were supposed to.

“Where did you learn to bake?” Natasha asked as Laura handed her one to try.

“My grandmother.” Laura smiled at the memory. “Her house always smelled like cinnamon and gingerbread, and she was always in the kitchen, making cakes or cookies or brownies.”

Natasha tilted her head just so to the side, like she was thinking. “I wasn’t allowed to have sweets,” she finally said. “When I was younger.” She shrugged. “It was forbidden. …Oh.” Her eyes widened just slightly. “I told Clint that once. That’s why he gives me his dessert.”

Laura smiled at her. “Yeah,” she said. “That’s probably why.”

A week later — after more afternoons and sometimes mornings spent baking together and picking vegetables from the garden — Laura said goodbye to Natasha and Clint. Natasha’s wounds were healed, and she could walk on her ankle, and it was time to go back.

Laura handed Natasha a paper bag before she left.

“Look at it when you get on the plane,” she told her, before touching her briefly on the hand. She didn’t think Natasha was ready for a hug, but she didn’t pull away at the small contact.

“Thank you, for everything,” Natasha said, before turning to go.

Clint raised his eyebrow at his wife, looking pointedly at the bag in Natasha’s hand.

“Brownies,” Laura said. “And cookies. And a note telling her she can call me anytime she wants.”

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

“She’s going to need friends, Clint. You can’t be her only one.”

“I’m stealing those brownies from her, though.”

“Yeah,” Laura grinned. “Good luck with that,” and she kissed her husband goodbye, before closing the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

  
**October**  
_Laura? … It’s Natasha. Clint’s partner. You said I could call you. …. Clint got hurt. He’s okay. But he was being stupid and he got hurt and I thought you should know._

**December**  
_Laura? … It’s Natasha. I …. Thank you. For the necklace. It’s pretty. I … I’ve never gotten presents before. Clint said I should say thank you. And Merry Christmas. He said I should say that, too._

**February**  
_Laura? … It’s Natasha. Clint is being an ass. Coulson says I need to ‘make more friends’, and Clint won’t help me. He just keeps laughing at me. He told me to call you. I hate him._

**June**  
_Laura? Hi. It’s Natasha. I’m going to come with Clint tomorrow when he comes home … Oh. Clint just told me I need to ask you if that’s okay. Is that okay?_

**November**  
_Laura? Hi. It’s Natasha. You have to stop buying me things. I don’t need presents. I …. Thank you. It’s pretty. The sweater. Thank you._

**March**  
_Laura? Hi. It’s Natasha. Clint is a dumbass and lost his phone. He said to tell you we’re not going to be available for a couple weeks. They’re sending us to Budapest. I’m sure it will be fine. Don’t worry._

**May**  
_It wasn’t fine. But we’re okay. Clint will see you soon. He’s getting a new phone, too._

**September**  
_Laura? It’s Natasha. Clint told me you’re going to have a baby. You’re going to be a wonderful mom. I know, because you took care of me._

**April**  
_Hi. It’s Natasha. Coulson said to tell you to tell Clint if he doesn’t have a picture of the baby before three o’clock that he’s fired. I think he’s kidding. I think. But send it anyway. We have a bet on who he looks like most._

**October**  
_Laura. Hi. It’s Natasha. I miss you. And Cooper. I’m going to come visit again really soon. Kiss that baby for me, okay?_

**February**  
_Hi. It’s Natasha. I have a new assignment. This time to Odessa. I’ll be back in a few weeks. Keep sending baby pictures, alright?_

**April**  
_Hi. It’s Natasha. I’m not dead. I’m sorry if you thought I was. I’m not going to be wearing a bathing suit anytime soon, but I’m not dead. Clint said everyone was worried. I’m sorry. But I’m fine. I am. All good._

**March**  
_Laura. Hi. It’s Natasha. I’m going away again. Undercover. At Stark Industries. You know, the egotistic billionaire who’s all over the news? I’m not supposed to say anything else. I haven’t done real undercover work since … well, since before SHIELD. But it should be fine. I’ll come visit when I get back._

**November**  
_Laura. Hi. It’s Natasha. Clint told me about the baby. I bet him three hundred dollars it’s a girl. It’s a girl, right? I’m never wrong about these things._

**April**  
_Laura. It’s Natasha. Tell Clint I heard he owes me three hundred dollars. Oh, and congratulations. I can’t wait to meet her._

**December**  
_Hi Laura. It’s Natasha. I’ll be there tomorrow. I have presents. Lots of presents. Why did no one tell me shopping for a baby could be fun? It’s the first time I went to the mall — Coulson made me. I didn’t want to — that I didn’t want to kill myself. See you tomorrow._

**May**  
_Laura. It’s Natasha. There’s been … an incident. It’s … I think it’s bad. But I’ll fix it. I’ll get Clint back, okay? I promise. Don’t worry._

**May**  
_It’s Natasha again. Don’t watch the news, okay? We’re fixing this. I promise._

**May**  
_Clint’s coming home. I’m bringing him. He’s in pretty bad shape. Coulson’s dead. Everything’s a mess. I think Clint needs to take some time off. A lot of time off. I don’t know. Maybe you should call me. I don’t think I should be telling you this in a message._

**October**  
_Laura. Hi. It’s Natasha. I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit. I have a new partner. Captain America. Really. It’s weird. He’s nice, but … Tell Clint I miss him, okay? And tell him to call me. I know he knows how to use a phone._

**March**  
_Laura. Hi. It’s Natasha. I’m just checking in. I know it’s been awhile. I’m okay. Still in D.C. with Steve. It’s not the same as working with Clint, but it’s fine. I really am going to come visit soon, okay? Tell the kids I miss them. And check the mail. You might be getting something soon._

**November**  
_Laura, it’s Natasha. I know you’re busy being super mom, but Clint told me when he went on assignment that checking in on you is my job. So I’m here, checking in. Don’t make me come down there. Call me back._

**April**  
_Hi. It’s Natasha. I shouldn’t be calling, but … whatever happens, whatever you see on the news, just know I didn’t know, okay? I’m not one of them. I promise. Please believe me. And stay safe._

**May**  
_Laura. It’s Natasha. I’m okay. I heard from Clint. He says to tell you he’s okay, too, but he can’t come home yet. … I shouldn’t be asking this … I don’t want to put you in danger. But now that SHIELD is gone, I don’t have anywhere else to go. Is it okay if I come to you?_  



	3. Chapter 3

Laura wasn’t sure what to expect when she opened the door, less than twenty-four hours after she had gotten the message from Natasha. She had watched her friend testify before Congress on the news the day before, looking as beautiful and poised and confident as she had ever seen her. But the woman who stood on the front doorstep looked much more human — her hair wasn’t quite as straight (Laura could still see hints of some of her natural curls) and her makeup was much softer and she looked tired and maybe a little sad. Her lips barely curved up at the sight of Laura standing before her, two little kids attached to their mother’s legs.

“Oh, sweetie,” Laura said, reaching out and pulling Natasha into her arms, feeling the tension in the other woman’s body as she did. 

“Are you sure it’s okay if I’m here?” Natasha said quietly when she pulled back, glancing down at the kids who were grinning up at her excitedly.

“Of course it is,” Laura told her as Natasha scooped Lila into one arm and wrapped her other arm around Cooper, who pressed his face into her stomach. “You know you’re always welcome. You don’t have to ask.”

“I don’t want to put you in danger.”

“Natasha, you know we aren’t in any of those files you had to release. No one’s going to find us.” Laura paused and studied Natasha’s face. She might not spend as much time with her as Clint did but she had long ago learned to read her, and she could tell something was bothering her that she didn’t want to say. “Is there something _you’re_ worried about?” 

“No.” Natasha shook her head, and she let a smile appear on her face. Laura didn’t buy it, but she knew now wasn’t the time.

“Then there’s nothing to worry about,” she said, and ushered Natasha further into the house, shutting the door behind her.

•••

It was nice having Natasha around, even if the reasons for her being there weren’t exactly happy ones. Clint had been away for two months before SHIELD fell, on a long-term assignment Laura knew no details of, but Natasha assured her repeatedly that Clint was safe and not in any danger from Hydra, and before Natasha had shown up, Nick Fury had defied rumors of his apparent demise by calling Laura to tell her not to worry and then transferring her enough money to cover Clint’s paychecks for the next three years. 

She trusted both Nick and Natasha enough to know if they said Clint was okay that he was, but still, it was nice to not be alone every day with just two little kids for company and no one to share her worries with. Even if Natasha was quiet more often than she was chatty, she was still there, and in many ways, she was more of a help to Laura than Clint was when he was home.

Natasha helped cook — ever since that very first visit when Laura taught her how to bake brownies, she was always eager to learn more — and she helped clean and, more than that, she helped entertain the kids.

Lila and Cooper loved her, and Natasha never let them down. She lay on the floor and colored with Lila, and sat with Cooper for hours building forts out of Legos. She watched Disney movies a hundred times and never complained, and she even helped Cooper with his homework. 

“Can Auntie Nat take us camping?” Cooper asked one night after dinner when Laura was clearing the dishes.

“Does Auntie Nat _want_ to take you camping?” Laura asked.

“Camping?” Natasha repeated, her eyes meeting Laura’s, clearly asking for some elaboration.

“Yeah, like Daddy does!” Lila said, and Laura let out a short breath of relief.

“Oh,” she said. “In the front yard.”

“Where else do people camp?” Cooper asked, and Laura tried not to laugh, as she explained to Natasha.

“Clint likes to set up the tent for the kids in the yard, and they all sleep out there. He also makes a fire pit, so we usually cook hotdogs and make s’mores.”

“I’ve never had s’mores,” Natasha said.

“No?” Cooper looked at her, horrified. “Why not?”

Natasha smiled. “They don’t have them where I grew up.”

“That’s silly,” Lila said.

“Will you take us camping, Auntie Nat?” Cooper asked.

“Yeah. Sounds fun.”

Both kids cheered. “You’re the best, Auntie Nat,” Cooper told her, before he and his sister rushed off to go play with their toys before bedtime. Natasha’s smiled died away as soon as the kids were out of sight.

“Nat?” Laura questioned. “You okay?”

“Yes. … No.” Natasha pursed her lips. “I’m just not sure if it’s a good idea if they keep calling me that.”

Laura frowned. “Auntie? They’ve called you that since they could talk.” It had been Clint’s idea back then. He had wanted Natasha to feel like she was important to their family, but it also served to make sure when the kids grew up and talked about her, no one would ask questions if they thought she was a relative.

“I know.” Natasha lowered her eyes to stare intently at the tablecloth. “But maybe they shouldn’t.”

“Why shouldn’t they?” Laura had a feeling she knew where this was going, but she wanted to hear Natasha say it.

“Because …” She paused, sighed, then looked up, meeting Laura’s eyes. Natasha’s expression was defiant. “You know they’re going to read those files someday. They’re everywhere. They’re going to know who I am.”

Yup, it was what Laura had thought. She dropped into the chair across from Natasha. “They know who you are, Nat.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“Yes, I know what you meant, but I also meant what I said. They _know_ you now. It doesn’t matter what it says in those files.”

“It matters to me.”

“It shouldn’t.”

“It should. I did awful things.”

“You were a child. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I stopped being a child a long time ago. I knew what I was doing.”

“You were still a child. What would they have done to you if you didn’t do what they ordered you to do?”

Natasha didn’t answer, but the steely expression on her face wavered just the tiniest bit. Laura reached across the table and placed her hands on top of Natasha’s. She felt her flinch at the touch, but she didn’t pull her hands back.

“When the kids get older,” Laura said softly, “you can tell them as much or as little as you want them to know. But Cooper and Lila adore you, and they love you, and so do Clint and I, and you know that. You wouldn’t be here if we didn’t want you to be, so stop worrying. At least about this. Okay?”

Natasha sighed, a sound of resignation if there ever was one, but then she nodded. Laura let go of her hands. “Help me clean up,” she said, “and I’ll tell you more than you ever wanted to know about camping.”

•••

The ‘camping trip’ happened a week later. The kids could barely contain their excitement. They even managed to talk Laura into letting some of the animals that usually stayed in their own sections of land on the farm roam around in the grass in front of the house.

“It feels more forest this way!” Cooper said, even though Laura wanted to point out that the woods were not actually filled with pigs and chickens and geese. But the kids were happy and it wasn’t hurting anything, so she didn’t.

They set the tent up first thing in the morning — Cooper gave Natasha step-by-step directions to make sure she did it right, and Laura helped her fix the things that Cooper told her wrong — and spent the day pretending to hike and fish and swim (both of the latter two activities being done in the little wading pool they had bought at the store).

When they got hungry, they made a fire pit just like Clint always did and cooked their hotdogs over the fire. And when night finally fell, it was time for s’mores.

Cooper and Lila stared expectantly at Natasha as they handed her one they had made for her and she took her first bite. 

Laura knew she was playing it up for the kids, but she had to admit it was pretty adorable the way Natasha’s eyes lit up as she bit into the treat, a hum of approval coming from the back of her throat. 

“Why have I never had this before?” she asked, and Lila and Cooper squealed in delight. 

An hour later, Laura wasn’t sure if the kids or Natasha had eaten more, but all of three of them looked a little sick as she and Natasha tucked the kids into their sleeping bags and lay down beside them, Laura telling them all stories until the giggles and movements beside her died down and all she could hear was slow, deep breathing. She turned her head and smiled at the sight of the three of them fast asleep, Natasha and Lila curled together through their sleeping bags.

Being careful not to wake them up, Laura slipped out of the tent, stealing inside to make herself a pot of tea and then coming back out to sit on one side of the swing on the porch. She loved this time of night — when all she could see were the stars shining bright in the sky and all she could hear were the soft grunts of the pigs and the wind whipping through the fields off to the side of the house.

She wasn’t sure how much longer it was until she saw a solitary figure appear at the entrance to the tent and then tread silently across the lawn. She smiled at Natasha as she climbed the steps to the porch and went to get her a cup of tea before rejoining her in the swing.

“Thanks,” Natasha said, taking a sip of her tea. “I didn’t realize I was so tired.”

“It happens.” Laura smiled. “Those kids are exhausting.”

“Yeah.”

They settled into silence, drinking their tea and watching the twinkling of the stars above them. It was Natasha who finally spoke again.

“Tony called me.”

“Oh?” Laura put her mug down, and turned to look at Natasha.

“He wants to put the Avengers back together. Said Hydra is still out there, and now that there is no SHIELD, they’re more dangerous. Said someone needs to stop them.”

“And what do you think?”

“He’s not wrong.” Natasha took a sip of her tea, pressing the mug to her lips for far longer than necessary.

“Are you considering it?”

Natasha finally put her mug down, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know,” she said, her voice quiet, and Laura had a feeling the real answer to her question was part of what had been bothering Natasha since she had first arrived. 

“Nat,” Laura said, as gently as she could. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Natasha answered quickly. “Not really anything. It’s just …” She trailed off, shrugging her shoulders. “I guess I just don’t know who I am without SHIELD.”

“Who do you want to be without SHIELD?”

“I don’t know. That’s the problem.” Natasha shrugged again. “I’ve spent my whole life doing what other people have ordered me to do. I should be happy it’s gone. But instead ….”

“You feel lost?”

Natasha made a small noise, somewhere between a scoff and a snort. “That’s not how I would have put it exactly,” she said. “But yeah.”

Laura pointed out into the yard, at the tent. “You’re really good with them,” she said. “Do you ever think about that?”

“Oh, no,” she said. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you could. I know you think …”

“No,” Natasha interrupted. “I mean I _can’t_. The Red Room made sure of that.” She pressed her lips together, but Laura heard the underlying pain in her voice, and she felt her heart drop into her stomach as realization of what she meant sunk in. She knew she hadn’t known even a little of what Natasha had gone through, but that they had actually …

“I’m sorry,” she heard herself say before she could even think it through.

“It’s fine.” Natasha’s answer was clipped, but Laura could still hear the pain seeping through. “It’s not like I would have made a great mother anyway.”

Laura wanted to argue with her about that, tell her that there were other ways she could still have a child, but she didn’t. Natasha was never going to believe her, and she couldn’t imagine how much strength it had just taken her to even admit what she just had.

So instead she went another way. “I guess Clint and I will just have to have a third child and name her Natasha then,” she said, keeping her tone light so Natasha would know she was trying to ease the moment.

“Baby Natasha,” Nat said quietly. “I like that.”

They drifted back into silence, until Laura thought enough time had passed to safely bring it back to the topic at hand.

“I think,” she started, “that if you want to be an Avenger, you should. You are amazing at it. But if you don’t want to, that’s okay, too. SHIELD’s gone. It’s okay to do what you want.”

“What if I don’t know what I want?”

“Then it’s okay to take time to figure it out.” Laura turned her head to smile at her. “And we’re here to help if you need it.”

•••

  
**August**  
_Hi Laura. It’s Natasha. I’m okay. It’s good here. With everyone. They’re all so loud though. Much louder than Cooper and Lila. I kind of miss the quiet. But I just wanted to say thank you. For everything. I’ll see you soon._

**November**  
_Hi. It’s Natasha. Clint told me about the baby. Remember, you’re supposed to name her Natasha. It’s a great name. Or so I hear._

**November**  
_Okay, you know I’m kidding right? You really don’t have to name her Natasha. You can name her whatever you want._

**November**  
_You two are seriously naming her Natasha? I …. I don’t know what to say. I … Thank you? I’ll see you soon._

**April**  
_Hi, Laura. I’m calling for Clint. He, uh, got in the way of some firepower today. The big dummy. He’s okay. The doctor claims he’ll live. And he’ll be home soon. We got what we came for. Tony’s throwing this party, and then that’s it. Or something. I don’t usually listen to Tony, but that’s what he says. So Clint should be home soon. For good._  


•••

The last thing Laura was expecting when she woke up that morning was to have a house full of Avengers that night. It was one thing to know everything about all of them from the stories Clint and Natasha told, but to see them all in person, to sit with them, to talk with them.

They were a bigger mess than she imagined they would be, but they were Clint’s friends and Natasha’s friends and that made them her friends, too, so she willingly let them in and set about caring for all of them as much as she could.

But the one person other than her husband she wanted most to care for she couldn’t, because from the second she saw her standing by the front door, Laura could tell Natasha was doing her best to compartmentalize whatever it was that had happened. She was visibly shutting everyone out, her walls completely built back up, her emotions locked far away from where anyone could touch them.

It wasn’t until that night when Laura was lying in bed with her husband that she got the whole story from him, about the young witch and her ability to manipulate people’s minds and how he had found Nat after she had been hit by the spell.

“Did she tell you what she saw?” Laura asked Clint. She was tracing his jawbone with her finger, their faces mere millimeters from each other.

“No. But I can guess. There’s only one thing that would affect her this much. I don’t think she’s said two words, except for when she’s around the kids.”

“Yeah,” Laura said. “I noticed.”

“I want to kill that witch for hurting her,” Clint whispered, his voice almost a growl in the otherwise silent room.

“I know,” Laura replied, moving toward him to give him a soft kiss. “But you should rest of up. You have a bigger war to fight. I’ll talk to Nat.”

“I don’t know if she’ll talk to you.”

“It’s okay. She doesn’t need to talk.”

•••

Laura had a feeling Natasha wasn’t going to be sleeping very much that night, and she was right. She found her outside on the front porch, curled up on one side of the porch swing, before the sun was even thinking about coming up. She was staring up at the sky and, for once, didn’t even realize Laura was there until Laura touched her arm and handed her a mug of tea.

Natasha started at Laura’s touch, her hand instinctively reaching for a weapon she didn’t have with her. A second later, she let out a sharp breath.

“Sorry,” she said. “Instinct.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever surprised you before,” Laura said. “It’s usually the other way around.”

“Yeah.” Natasha took a sip of the tea, shifting her position so she was more upright. “Thank you for this.”

Laura took a seat beside her. “You’re welcome.” She waited just a beat. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Do you want to talk about you and Bruce?”

Natasha hesitated. “There is no me and Bruce,” she said, obviously trying to play it off.

“Really? I saw the way you were looking at him yesterday.”

Natasha put her mug down on the small table in front of them. Then she tucked her legs up tighter beneath her. “There is no me and Bruce,” she repeated, but this time she sounded almost sad. “I was being stupid. I thought I could have something I can’t have.”

“A boyfriend?”

“A normal life.” Laura watched Natasha’s lips curve up just slightly at that, but her eyes glistened in the dark and Laura thought she could almost see the slight hint of moisture.

Laura scooted over just so on the swing, so her leg was touching Natasha’s. “Tell me what happened,” she said quietly.

Natasha shrugged. “Nothing happened. That’s the thing.” She cocked her head to the side and let out a small laugh. “You told me last year that I should do what I want. And for a second I thought maybe … maybe we could have something, you know? Bruce … he’s damaged, like me. He has this monster inside him, like me. I thought maybe …” She trailed off and smirked slightly at Laura. “It was stupid. I forgot who I am.”

Laura leaned forward to put her mug down on the table beside Natasha’s, then sat back and placed her hand on Nat’s. “It’s not stupid.”

“I’m not normal. I can’t have a life like you and Clint do.”

“It doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy.”

“There is no one out there who wants someone like me.”

“They should. They’d be the luckiest guy in the world.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “You sound like Steve. Super sappy.”

Laura smiled. “Being compared to Captain America? I’ve had worse.”

“Yeah.” Natasha chuckled, and then Laura saw the amusement vanish from her face as quickly as it had come. She turned to look at Laura, her eyes searching. “Tell me I’m doing the right thing,” she whispered. “Being an Avenger. Tell me it’s the right thing.”

“Oh, Nat …”

“Please tell me it’s the right thing. Because I don’t know anymore.” Natasha’s voice wavered on the last syllable, and Laura didn’t even hesitate. She reached out, wrapped her arms around Natasha and pulled her in toward her.

“Whatever you saw in that vision yesterday,” Laura whispered into her ear, “that’s not who you are anymore.” Laura felt Natasha sag in her arms. She continued, “You are more than worthy of being an Avenger. And you are more than worthy of having so much more than that. If Bruce doesn’t want you, he’s an idiot. You, though, are not.”

Laura adjusted her arms around Natasha as she felt her begin to shake, just so. She realized with a bit of surprise that she was crying, but she didn’t say a word. She just tightened her grip around her, rubbed her back a little, and let her do what she needed.

A while later, the front door opened and Clint stepped out, but one look at Laura, stroking Natasha’s hair while she cried in her arms, and Clint was stepping back inside and not letting anyone else come near them until long after Natasha’s tears had dried and she fallen asleep in Laura’s arms.

•••

  
**May**  
_Laura. Hi. It’s Natasha. I’ve decided to go with Steve and help him train the new Avengers. It’s where I belong. They …. They’re my family as much as you and Clint and the kids are. I wish I could be there when the little one is born, but I’m sending you something. Don’t let Clint open it, okay? You and the kids only._

**July**  
_Hi. It’s Natasha. I hope you got my gifts. I’m sorry there are so many. Steve told me I was going overboard, but he is my namesake. I’ll come visit soon, okay?_

**April**  
_Hi. It’s Natasha. I tried reaching Clint, but I couldn’t get hold of him. Things aren’t good right now. I’m really worried. I just …. Whatever happens, tell Clint he should stay out of it. It’s better that way._  


•••

“You’re really going to go?” Laura stood, the baby in her arms, watching her husband slip into the suit she knew so well, the one that said he was about to run headlong into danger because that was the kind of guy he was.

“Steve needs me,” Clint answered, avoiding her eyes.

She didn’t argue that, didn’t say his family needed him too. She knew he knew, and it wasn’t going to change anything by saying it out loud.

“And Natasha? You’re really going to fight her?”

Clint met her eyes at that. “Only if I absolutely have to.”

“You know she only chose Tony’s side because she’s scared of losing the Avengers.”

“She told you that?” Clint looked almost amazed.

Laura smiled, thinking back to the conversations they’d had. “She didn’t have to tell me that.”

“I’m not going to let her get hurt.”

Laura moved toward her husband, to hug him goodbye. “I think it might be too late for that.”

•••

  
**May**  
_It’s Natasha. I can’t talk long. But I need you to know I’m okay. And I’m sorry. For everything. I’m going to help make sure Clint and the others get free, and then I have to disappear. I’m not sure when I’ll be back. If I’ll be back. But thank you. For everything. I’ll miss you._  


•••

Laura listened to the message click off. Natasha, as expected, had used an untraceable phone, giving Laura no way to reach her. 

Laura put her phone down and instead picked up the picture she had sitting on the coffee table — it was taken last year, with a tripod Clint had set up in the living room. Laura, Clint, Cooper, Lila and Natasha, all of them in goofy poses, were laughing at the camera, looking happy. 

Looking like a family. All of them.

Laura set the picture down and sighed. 

“We’re here whenever you’re ready, Nat,” she said into the empty room. “Just please come home.”


End file.
